BraveryJerk Interviews – CWCki

The BraveryJerk Interviews are a series of interviews made by the lapp individual under two aliases, Lil E and BraveryJerk. The foremost interview, recorded at The conclusion Games, was secured by promising Chris the manipulation of a 3D printer, a vow not fulfilled after the interview was recorded. The second gear and third occurred at Charlottesville ‘s annual LGBT pride festival. The group behind the BraveryJerk channel posted the longer Cville Pride interview on the Kiwi Farms while masquerading as person else, under the username “ holy place cow ”, concisely after uploading it. This, along with their abhorrent choice of questions to ask to Chris, was cursorily met with criticism, causing them to make another report, “ chrischansmanclit ”, to go into broad damage control mode. The episode remains popularly referenced as an exemplar of weenery. [ 1 ]

first interview


Interviewer: sol … You silent recycle your gravy ? [ “ Really, nigga?” sound effect ]

[ Sped up version of “I Want It That Way” plays ] I: – Weston Chandler … Uh, we have a few questions for you. so, first gear off, are you calm on your Love Quest ? Chris: : Umm … Yes, yes, more or less, umm … I do n’t get to go ouda- out the house as much, but I ‘m still identical much looking for a … my … womanly s- my woman sweetheart. Yeah, decidedly all charwoman. Regardless, but, anyhow, umm … yes. I: Alright, and what do you think of the fame that Sonichu ‘s bring to you ? [ Chris nervously scratches temple ] C: Mmm … yea … Fame, good … Infamy, though, not so much, because of uh … all the drawbacks I ‘ve had. And, the stress … and the shock absorber and all that, over the years, each individual one kind of … [ puts finger to temple and sighs ] still lingers in my head. I: What are some of the drawbacks ? C: Umm … It prevents me from uhh … Being able to, uhh … Be more creative. It fair … Ugh. It ‘s practically paralyze. I can’t- it ‘s like- it ‘s hardly a- har- hardly able for me to help. I: Can you tell us more about the bear ? [ cut ] C: … What ? I: The have a bun in the oven that gave you your list. C: Oh, you mean the uh … Leonard Bearstein that used to be over at Regency square ? I: Yes. Leonard Bear. C: Yeah, Bear Conductor, the conductor … umm … we told- it said- he asked- he asked me for my identify, uhh … Which was Christopher at the prison term, and he misunderstood that, uh, the conductor behind the yield was english … Or British, something like that, and he misundertood, called me “ christian ”, and that inspired the fir- the first appoint change. [ cut ] I: so, have you heard of, uh, Sachumo ? C: Who ? I: Sachumo, he ‘s a Youtuber, he made a documentary about your life. C: [ Confused ] Umm … Yeah, I have not heard of him. And- is this that insensive documentary that I keep hearing about ? I: Yes, this is a documentary on YouTube, it has about half a million views. C: Yeah, yes, still have not watched it. I: decidedly should, it ‘s pretty good. [ cut ] I: so, what does like, a convention day look like for you ? C: Ummm … It’s-I try- try on to be as- passive as potential, like, tend to go with the flow, actually, uhh … and … If I go out, I go out, if I do n’t, I do n’t, uh … I: Alright. C: And sometimes I ‘m on day schedule, sometimes on night schedule, precisely switches on- switches on me and my inner clock, it ‘s erratic, it bothers me, umm … But typically, ummm … say … If I go out, I ‘d be uhh … walking abo- I ‘d be walking around, I ‘d be nice- I ‘d be friendly and nice to peopl- to, uhh … tahh … peep- to people, civil to the men and more- and more bigmouthed to the women, mmm … Umm, just be- merely be normal and casual and, if I ‘m home I- if I feel like cradindinye- creating then I will end up doing that, otherwise for the m- what happens most of the times I ‘ll, I dunno, probably merely binge watch a television receiver picture on Hulu, Netflix or something- I: What are some of your favored television shows ? C: Umm, well, some of my darling shows … Well I do like Seinfeld, and, uhh, Friends ; Big Bang Theory is OK, that ‘s, uh, more the, uhh, holocene writing style, but I besides like Golden Girls and Fraiser, those are on the Hallmark distribution channel. Umm … I Do n’t know recent shows, but besides recently I ‘ve binged-watched through Hulu and Netflix, Kill la Kill, which I thought that was a good zanzibar copal, all things considered, it had very good fib and all that- I: Huh, intereseting. C: And, WataMote, that was good besides, jus- I barely feel like I could relate with, uhh, like the independent character, the girlfriend there. I do n’t remember her identify at the moment. But besides, it ‘s just like she- she tends to overthink at socialize, and that ‘s kinda like what I end up doing so far american samoa well, or have done, probably still doing. It ‘s accustomed, overthinking, you do it and you ‘re not thinking about it yet you ‘re thinking and you ‘re not thinking about it – [ spins hand while while making weird noises ] – That ‘s an oxymoron. [ cut ] I: Alright, and- C: not anymore, anyhow. I: And, you consider yourself a transgender ? C: Yes, I ‘m a lesbian trans-woman, hush identical much matter to in women, and I ‘m going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats … And, uh, I will besides be- I ‘m besides looking into uhh, the HRT, for real number, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my policy will allow me after I ‘ll be going throught that intensifier serve, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS. I: Interesting, matter to … [ cut ] 4:52 I: so, do you distillery recycle your gravy ? C: [ disgusted ] Ugh ! No. I: No. What was that all about ? because a batch of people are talking about that. C: Uhh … that ‘s … uhh, public situation right now, I ‘d rather not talk about it but, yeah, let ‘s just suf- let ‘s good leave it at that, I have not done that for years. I: Okay. It ‘s good to know. Sorry, people were fair asking about that. Had to bring it up. Umm … C: Never ask that quesiton again, fair leave it at that. I: Alright. Ummm, and … A bunch of people, a lot of trolls have tried to troll you, what do- [ cut ] C: … discontinue it, do n’t try to stress me, do n’t try to bother me, I ‘m an artist, uhh, I ‘ve tried- I ‘m still long trying to recover from all the stress and the shock since 2007. It ‘s a very long and boring process, specially in my mind [ clutches scalp ]. You would- I mean- I don- Ya ‘ll would probably not know, or you might know if you had your own family situations, and you ‘re stuck in your basements and any, but, anyhow, just- just- If you ‘re not gon na be nice to me, if you- if you have nothing nice to say, you have- you have nothing full … intended, or if you entirely have bad intended, just- just do n’t bother me. I only respond best to uh, kindness and … honesty, and … more- and more to point, face-to-face, in person. [ cut ] I: What do you think about Encyclopedia Dramatica and their article about you ? C: Ugh. I ‘d rather not think about it. But, basically, I do n’t ca- I do not care a lot for it. [ transgender section repeats ] I: Alright, and- C: not anymore, anyhow. I: And, you consider yourself a transgender ? C: Yes, I ‘m a lesbian trans-woman, still identical much concern in women, and I ‘m going to be transitioned at least with the binaural beats … And, uh, I will besides be- I ‘m besides looking into uhh, the HRT, for real, and uhh, and if not the natural transofmration then, if my policy will allow me after I ‘ll be going throught that intensifier process, which will be starting up soon for me, uhh, then I will have the SRS. I: Interesting, interesting … All right, well, thank you for doing an consultation with us, It ‘s been an honor .

Cville Pride interviews

These interviews were produced during Cville Pride ‘s 2016 consequence. In the first, Lil E sees Chris in a push of people he is interviewing and includes him as an interview subject ( at the 2:39 score ). by and by, he met with Chris for a one-on-one interview.

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Stardate 17 September 2016
Performance Style reasonReason Reason


BJV : Hey, look who it is. It ‘s christian Weston Chandler. How many genders are there ? Chris : Oh, I fair learned, there ‘s, like, 58.

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Stardate 17 September 2016
Performance Style rationalityReason Reason


BVJ : Hello everyone, Braveryjerk here, today we are interviewing Christine Weston Chandler, how are you doing nowadays. [ music with caption “ In October 2016, Braveryjerk got the rare opportunity to interview Christian ( Christine Weston Chandler ) We had around 20 minutes to prepare ” ] CHRIS : [ holding toy ] It ’ s a custom Equestria Girls Minis I made…myself. Chris sets up his Amiibo toy on a postpone, the interviewer is looking at them. BVJ : ( mutters ) Are there more in here ? You have the full… ( mumbling ) …probably shouldn ’ t touch that ( wipes hands on clothe ) That ’ mho rather arrant. CHRIS : [ setting up toys ] I ’ ll precisely put…one at a time. BVJ : I ’ molarity gon na go get the camera… CHRIS : Yeah, customs ‘ mmibo figures of…Sonichu north Rosechu, Sonee n Rosey, and Angelica Rosechu. BVJ : So you make these yourself ? CHRIS : yea. For figures it takes HOURS. BVJ : It ’ second very reasonably. How much would one of these go for ? CHRIS : Um…some of it ’ s….indivi…selling em for around…fifty dollars each or… BVJ : FIFTY ? I ’ ll give you two for it. CHRIS : Oy vey, no. BVJ : That ’ s all I got on me. Is that the original medallion ? CHRIS : yes. Uh. Nummer three whereas the first two have been…destroyed…that ’ s…that ’ s a whole buncha early stories. BVJ : How were, how were they destroyed ? CHRIS : [ sigh ] person else dessroyed the first one, and the early – and the second gear one was…shoved up my…keyhoooole….uh… BVJ : You shoved the Sonichu medallion up your arsenic ? ( looks dramatically at television camera ) CHRIS : Yip…yeah, it was .. yea, I don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate wan sodium talk about that. BVJ : Why did you do that ? CHRIS : [ sigh ] Between uh…my theoretical ex-girlfriend and being blackmailed…Playstation Network larceny ….yeah. I don ’ thyroxine – that ’ south en – that ’ s enough said. BVJ : so you chose to shove it up your…your boyhole ? CHRIS : [ sigh ] yeah… BVJ : This is NOT the like one you put up your american samoa ? [ holding hands aside from medallion dramatically ]
CHRIS : decidedly not. BVJ : Ok. Thank deity. [ more wipe hands on dress and mugging for camera ] That would be a little crude, right ? CHRIS : Nyah. BVJ : This is the Rosechu ? CHRIS : Rosechu, yea. BVJ : Do you have like a napkin or something ? [ leap out reduce ] cameraman : And what ’ s your, uh, Etsy memory liaison ? so people can…buy your stuff ? CHRIS : It ’ s closed correct nowadays, I don ’ triiodothyronine know if I ’ ll be opening up after I catch astir on my orders. Uh it ’ sulfur CWCville Shopping on Etsy. It ’ s a connection on my YouTube page, CWCville Guardian.

BVJ : CWCville Guardian, that ’ s a pretty snazzy name [ sarcastic front at television camera ] CHRIS : No, CWC, it spells – when you say it as a news it ’ sulfur [ sic ] comes out as Quick. So… BVJ : Wouldn ’ t it be like….ssswwwwsssskkkk ? CHRIS : quickly, to the Tardis ! [ waves around Tardis blanket ] BVJ : Hooooly bullshit, that is…can you hold that up for us ? CHRIS : I brought it with me as something to s – as one to sit on. BVJ : That is quite a meme right there. cameraman : Alright, I think we are fix to start. BVJ : Alright, everything ’ sulfur turned up ? [ leap cut to Chris fondling Equestria Chris ] BVJ : so you ’ re a Brony ? CHRIS : Ah, no, I ’ m a pegasister. BVJ : Oh right, cause you ’ re a… ( CHRIS : Yes. ) A trans…woman. CHRIS : I ’ m a…yes…I ’ m a [ singing ] female soooooooul ! [ jump cut ] CHRIS : sol do you wear glasses on your….all your on-line television ? BVJ : sometimes. [ Chris looks identical unsettled ] [ startle cut ] CHRIS : I ’ molarity Christine Weston Chandler, once known as christian Weston Chandler, [ leap stinger ] BVJ : [ slaps legs ] So how are you doing today, first of all. CHRIS : I ’ meter all right. BVJ : aplomb cool. What do you think about the fame and popularity Sony-chu has brought to you ? CHRIS : Uh, SONichu. Uh…I ’ m kinda like, eh, somewhere in the middle about it, cause… ’ s decent, a lotta people know about me ‘ nitrogen my characters, but then besides, uh, lotta bad people been giving me bullying ‘ newton grief ‘ n…. ’ nets fair been bringing me down emotionally ‘ n mentally. Between blackmail…uh…dis, digital audiotape uh… [ gestures with handwriting, sniffs ] it ’ second hard – it ’ s just a lot – it ’ s so long a tilt an ’ ( cling ? ) theoretical ex-girlfriends who turned out not…to be…cert- not to be who they were. I don ’ thyroxine like dishonest or mean pe- barbarous people. Learn some gen ’ ral kindness ! And…honesty and…humility ( lol ) …don ’ triiodothyronine always…got hate. Don ’ t hate. Love conquers hate. BVJ : Do you regret anything you ’ ve done in the past ? CHRIS : decidedly uh…fit…among delaware footage and thing…and pitchurs I ’ ve withdraw of….quite revealing contentedness. BVJ : If you could undo one thing you ’ ve done in the past, what would that be ? CHRIS [ sigh ] Uh .. unwrap one…thing…dat…mmm…I guess…fff .. memorize that I…funded [ sic ] the…Encyclopedia Dramaddica foliate inna first place. Then…I wouldn ’ t have – I wouldn ’ t have known…I woulda been…blissfully ignorant ! [ raises hands, shakes bracelets ] Of district attorney bad people. [ tongue out ] BVJ : Do you regret posting those characters anywhere, or, or… CHRIS : Uh…no I do not regret posting them, I merely feel bad digital audiotape dey been crim…dey been criminally defaced, an ’ brought to shame, the – I feel that the trolls and the ( means bullies but says boys ) and everything they ’ ve done against me and all that, they basically took the fun out of it. BVJ : And, you ’ ve said things that could be considered racist in the by. ( CHRIS : Um… ) Have your views changed on those ? CHRIS : Yes, boron – clairvoyance – yes, um…I never in truth had anything against, uh, race or people, I never very did, uh…but im – in idea of that, the one president Obama joke that my don came up with about painting district attorney theater – White House prematurely, uh, yeah… [ waves hand dismissively ] that ’ s not my thing. That was, that was his opinion and his feelings alone, and that was…years ago. I have nothing against total darkness people or anyone else of other countries, or yeah – or ra- wherever. Whoever. BVJ : well we have a quote here, you said…I hate N- [ cuts off ] CHRIS : [ looks very put out ] I never said that. Migh ’ sodium been that spoof I did of Uncle Ruckus ’ s songs against district attorney gays but which dat…my views have been changed. ( ironically sounds like “ my views have not changed ” ). Well it def ’ nly came about when I realized digital audiotape I was a lesbian transwoman and I felt…comfortable amongst the LGBTQ community. I still feel – feel uncomfortable around males in general, but for district attorney most separate I will be civil, and uh…not mean to, not mean to any of them, unless any of them are directly mean to me. I decidedly respond better to kindness, but um…yeah, I [ stammers ] have my eyes set on district attorney women. And, very much attracted to women. BVJ : so you ’ ra square. CHRIS [ angry sigh, looks annoyed ] I ’ m a LESBIAN TRANSWOMAN, my FEMALE SOUL is attracted to women, so derefore I am a lesbian. BVJ : But you were born a male, correct ? CHRIS : [ evening more annoyed ] Ugh….yes, bear male, but that ’ s irrelevant. BVJ : How many genders are there ? CHRIS : Dere ’ s a lot more than [ stammers ] [ some truly annoyance music plays I ’ M A SCAT man ! as Chris stammers ] CHRIS : Dat ’ s my estimate, my educate guess. BVJ : Could you name a few ? CHRIS : well, there ’ sulfur trans male, trans women, um ( BVJ : That ’ mho two. ) …uh…uh…male female ( BVJ : Four. ) shoot….uh….well I ’ ve [ sic ] decidedly would say uM, with regards to what f – what sex you feel you are inside, between male and female, versus or, im – in review with what – the physical shape you ’ rhenium born with, uh [ bumble, the editing cuts off what he was going to say and splices in more bumble ] BVJ : Do you consider yourself celebrated ? CHRIS : Uh. mildly, yes. Umm…I feel like it ’ south positive because I have seen kindness from de asshual good and honest people…and…it ’ randomness brought lil – it ’ s brought at least a little act of sutsess to…mit – myself personally and my…family ? In regards to, or opposing to, like say, my stepbrother Joseph Cole Smithey. And…his… [ wipes greasy face ] movie review. Eh, but still I fair feel like… ’ einsteinium ’ s so sussessful, he lives in, like an esspensive New York apartment, wit his wife, he could help out brain – he could help his own beget. Our sh – our mother. We share district attorney lapp mother ! BVJ : thus could you tell me about uh, a little about your family and your upbringing ? [ the editing speeds up Chris ’ s answer, for no apparent reason, but Chris mentions his parents and Cole and how they share the same mother but not the lapp beget, and says that his family used to be quite large but has shrunk in the by number of years ] CHRIS : cipher ’ s around forever…. [ does sign of the cross ] remember the ones who cared, and I decidedly respect everyone from who…remembers, as suffered, or survived from….911 and all digital audiotape. [ graphic of “ Remembering 911 ” randomly appears ] BVJ : What do you think about the Black Lives Matter drift ? CHRIS : Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it ’ s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like dey ’ ra having trouble oneself ? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, careless of rush [ # AllLivesMatter flashes ] or whatever. I mean, I ’ meter for…de, uh…Black Lives constantly. BVJ : Do you consider yourself oppressed as a trans woman ? CHRIS : [ confused ] Um…O-pressed ? [ Oprah painting flashes for some reason ] I ’ m not sure what district attorney definition of o-pressed is. BVJ : Do you feel as if you are mistreated, because of how you identify. CHRIS : Oh ! by and large, uh…I ’ ve actually seen more of kindness from…at least locally, and I tend to ignore de, uh, boys ( bullies ) and trolls, particularly with in the past, more late years. apart from – well – you have the haters, fair uh, normally would shrug digital audiotape off… [ another irritating sequence of jump cuts with Chris saying “ I feel like, I don ’ triiodothyronine feel…I think I feel…do not feel… ” ] BVJ : Would you consider yourself a feminist ? CHRIS : Yes. Girl…woman power ! Girls are strong, we kick butt ! [ television camera zooms in on Chris for some reason, before editing Chris ’ s next instruction to sound like he is saying “ Mmm, Butter ” and flashing a movie of a stick of butter ] CHRIS : Y ’ all don ’ thyroxine wholly know me from what I ’ ve done in past digital audiotape ’ s been uploaded on ‘ nebraska Innernet, ‘ n taken oudda context, y ’ all would be – would be better off getting to know me personally or better, I ’ meter ashually – I ’ thousand ashually quite sympathetic. BVJ : Are you still on your Love Quest ? CHRIS : Yes, but decidedly feel that – and with that, um…in my relationship with women, uh wuh – ff- who I find to be my – ff – [ abstruse breath ] oh, my eventual sweetheart, def ’ nitely will be on the friends, friends foremost, den relationship layer on….yeah, it ’ s uh – it ’ ll be a reciprocal thing between her an ’ me an ’ …I ’ five hundred leave de…if and when of…private circumstances…up to her. BVJ : When you…went into that Gamestop, what were you thinking ? [ plays nip of DON ’ T CALL ANYBODY where Chris maces the Gamestop employee ] BVJ : The Gamestop where you pepper-sprayed the employee. CHRIS : Oh, yeah…I was not esspecting to be…irrecepted like digital audiotape. Annnn I acted, reasonably much, out of in sel- in actual self-defense… [ the nip is played again, directly when Chris sprays the mace ] CHRIS : …between uh, disinformed perceptionnnns….and being harassed previously, like digital audiotape, I never actually was able to defend myself before. Back hideout I thought, this was a convinced means [ text “ meeeemes ” flashes for some reason ], but den it turns out, it went incorrect, an re- and the reason behind that which was the Sonic the Hedgehog om – arm coloring material change. [ “ No Colors Allowed ” is flashed on the screen ] Yeah, ‘ n ‘ at was just…plain fiddling an ’ I…really wish I had not…started that prot – digital audiotape protest ‘ nna foremost place. BVJ : sol you believe that ’ s not a… ’ ppropriate reaction ? To the change of a cartoon character ’ mho branch color. CHRIS : Yesssssss…I ’ ve come – I ’ ve realized digital audiotape. When I…did a research for my name brandomly [ sic ] ‘ s district attorney first thing I did when I just got my Nintendo Wii, and uh…den I found district attorney Encyclopediadrammadica page an…learn ‘ nat…people were…makin ’ a jeer of me, gib ’ n me hate, an ‘ nat just…really…threw me off. initially, I fffffelt quite distraught, I felt…ashamed, I felt…some anger, I felt…rebellious, I felt…like dis is not veracious, dese people don ’ triiodothyronine know me for who -for the person I am, or was back lair, they don ’ metric ton know me personally. Yeah, dis web page, ‘ second just not right, I…tried multiple times ta…personally try to take it down and request it taken down, and dey said NO ! And to change it so it ’ sulfur more accurate, and dey didn ’ thymine do it ! And finally I…just…like I learned from…dat…parody song…You ’ ve been trolled, you probably told, don ’ t answer to this ridicule, he ’ second good getting a lift out of [ starting to sing ] you, yes it ’ second on-key, you respond and dat ’ s his cue, you start trouble oneself on district attorney double, while he ( strokes his bendy skull ? ? ? ? ) You been trolled, you been trolled, you should credibly good fold, when the only winning move is not to PLAAAAAY ! And however you keep on trying, and ( ? ? ) answer, you been trolled, you been trolled, [ holds up a hand to wave ] have a dainty day ! [ television camera randomly zooms in on Chris ’ sulfur hand as he drops it back down ] BVJ : That ’ randomness perplex. CHRIS : Tend to not…put…new revealing data about person ’ randomness past, against dem presently as long as…they ’ ra actually…in the longer run, since after these past fee- these past feelings on…before interchange or whatever… BVJ : Would you ever run for President yourself ? CHRIS : NO. [ jump cut to big stress sigh ] We have our dogs, our erratic finances go up go down…the second halves of the months are normally worst on us in the house… [ hand up on head ] it ’ s a actual stress. I mean regardless of my…impulses, momentum purchases dat…de trolls are ashually going into, and just [ autistic hand twitch ] …I don ’ metric ton know, just…like being district attorney paparazzo behind my back or, looking thymine ’ rough on-line transitions – transactions an ’ wha-ever, that IS an ivasion [ sic ] of privacy ! And that ’ sulfur, uh, cipher ’ second business but my own, but I am still helping out my mother and the family. And I just, need a small time…I just need a little nowadays and then, treat or clock time for myself, as anybody else would ! BVJ : You said you have dogs, what kind of dogs do you have ? CHRIS : Dey ’ re both beagles. BVJ : What are their names ? CHRIS : [ amazed he doesn ’ t know ] Clover and Snoopy ! A – sometimes I like to call ‘ im Snoopy Doo. Dis is – mooshis ( ? ? ? ) Scooby and Snoopy ! [ more edit splice of Chris stammering ] CHRIS : Da house was a bunch more cluttered before district attorney ardor. An my ma wanted ta…plug in dis new coffee – dis new coffee maker dat uh…she – digital audiotape Mr. C had gotten like a year or two before ? And wan – to go for – want to enjoy some of de…K Cup type coffee ! thus, mm….got dese extension cord I found the nearest available plug, and it was uh… [ gestures ] in district attorney nearby…bathroom. But the coffee godhead was…outside the toilet. On a uh…dresser. And uh, we couldn ’ thyroxine one hundred fifty – we couldn ’ thymine close the door, I uh [ hand to expression ] I didn ’ metric ton – I wasn ’ t thinking besides distinctly, I didn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate think as much, but I end up looping the uh, esstension cord OVER de doorway ! And uh, the arch above the door, digital audiotape ’ s…POOF ! [ music of We Didn ’ t Start the Fire starts playing ] And dat ’ sulfur where the displace started, and…yeah mos – yeah, ummm…give or take, I ’ thousand not pointing fingers if it was here, from my mile – my mistakes, and I have made a lotta mistakes regardless, um…or my mudder want, the uh…coffee manufacturer plugged in ! Or…even de coffee bean manufacturer itself, with da….de…with its potential faulty wire and he had to go back and forth bet-between district attorney mechanism and district attorney socket ? What happened happened, digital audiotape ’ s water under the bridge, BVJ : so you burnt your family down. CHRIS : [ stress sigh ] It was decidedly nassident ( an accident ), it was not intended. BVJ : You incidentally burnt your theater down. CHRIS : yea. At least…the majority of us, we got out safe. [ textbook “ The Majority ? ” flashes onscreen ] All the original drawings an everything, all that, they were safe, but…definitely lost was uh…couple of things that were … hanging on my bedroom wall were destroyed in the arouse. [ edit of Chris doing the signal of the crisscross again with chorus singe and Jesus photograph superimposed over footage ] BVJ : What is that ? CHRIS : What ? BVJ : What ’ mho that travel. That matter. CHRIS : What, you don ’ thyroxine know ‘ bout that ? I don ’ thyroxine know, I precisely took it from watching – seen it on television receiver, I just feel like – got – spirit like when I do it ’ randomness ‘ randomness like “ God help me ”. Jesus did help us, uh…I feel like, um…we alone have…yeah, dere ’ randomness o – dere ’ s one God, an electron volt ’ consistency regardless of the name….yeah, mm…dat ’ s…dat ’ randomness decidedly besides taking a little morsel from the wisdom of Matt Groening, between…between the Simpsons and Futurama. Stayf…our…stayf…State Farm par-personnel was able to help us, uh…get us into a hotel for a f-into a hotel for a few weeks, before we got de…rental house digital audiotape we stayed in for dat…number of months ? [ cameraman gets bored and starts zooming in and out on the interviewer ] BVJ : now, can we get an update on your man-cl [ cut off ] CHRIS : [ frustrated ] PLEASE, no gloss ! BVJ : No comment ? You made several comments on your, uh, public Facebook page. CHRIS : Ugh. Yeah, digital audiotape was…impulsive and summa digital audiotape was brought on by…yeah, ‘ n ex-girlfriend of mine of recent, but she left me of the uh…dishonesty therein, but uh, anyhow I ’ m hush transitioning, let ’ s just leave it at digital audiotape. BVJ : so you, you believe that the bloody hole in your infect ( CHRIS : Oh…please… ) is… CHRIS : Please, please, please ! No comment ! No comment ! ( BVJ : Have you… ) Everything ’ s healed up, it ’ randomness all good, I ’ m however alive, let ’ s precisely fifty – give that…let ’ randomness equitable leave that – lie – lay that down to rest. BVJ/CAMERAMAN ? : Is there anything else you wan na say before… CHRIS : Um… [ open and close mouth like a fish ] I ’ vitamin d say…to everybody on the Innernet…eh…f-face-to-face kindness and…meet and greets are better than online…yeah, meet first…it ’ s a wholly – I feel like that ’ randomness more important den…mee ’ in anybody on-line communicate, you can…anyway, away from vitamin d at, um…be effective, be kind, have a good safe sidereal day ! BVJ : Hell yeah, my nig- [ cut off ] CHRIS : Stop hayding, stop boying ( bullying ) ! Love is better den hate ! Kindness is berr res – good rescepted [ sic ] and more welcoming…den…mistrust, disfavor, hatred, deleterious comments…if you got s- if you don ’ t have anything nice to say, largely keep it to yourself, or amongst yourselves… [ flute music is edited in, the camera circles Braveryjerk and Chris before showing Chris putting away his plaything. The television camera slides around on a table, making a quarrel sound. ] bvd : Alright, brofist ! See you, good day.

CHRIS : Yeah, take wish. [ more dazed editing commences ]

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